Despite his recent arrest in Romania on charges of rape and human trafficking, and despite climate activist Greta Thunberg’s cutting take-down tweet (one of the most-liked in history!) mocking him, and despite the understandable temptation to dismiss him as some odious, disrespectful, self-promoting, narcistic, attention-seeking, arrogant, infantile jerk, we cannot ignore the fact that self-described “misogynist” Andrew Tate still has millions of men (and a few women) all over the world who idolize, admire, and defend him and his particularly virulent brand of masculinity. The same adulation holds true for Thunberg who has tens of millions of her own ardent fans. Business leaders ignore them both at their peril.
Why? Because long gone are the days where we could legitimately claim that what happens out in the real world will somehow magically go unmentioned in our workplaces. Chances are that right now, there are any number of people in your organization – very likely Millenials or Gen-Z’s – who have strong positive and negative opinions of Tate and Thunberg, not to mention climate activism, feminism, trends in masculinity or any other breaking news item. If they’re expressing those opinions with their friends and family, and on social media, then there’s a good chance they’re expressing them with their work colleagues – at least those that they think agree with them.
Sharing our opinions with each other about current events is, after all, human nature. Other than the weather, the news about the latest political meltdown, mass shooting, or corporate mess-up is the first topic in just about any interaction. People are bound to feel strongly about these issues, say so in no uncertain terms and potentially blow up an otherwise perfectly cordial discussion.
So, when it comes to our workplaces, the question should be, not how do we put the opinion genie back into the bottle, but rather (to torture the metaphor), how do we stop people from drinking so much from that bottle that everyone gets destructively polluted?
This is where Respectful Leadership can be helpful. Although you may be tempted to shut that hot-topic conversation down on the spot with a commanding, “OK folks, stop talking about that,” you’re just making it more likely they’ll talk about that taboo subject out of your earshot.
Instead, one of the simplest techniques you can use to prevent a passionate political or social issue debate from infecting your team and potentially causing rifts is to use the phrase, “I think we can all agree…”
Agree on what, you ask? Well, that what’s being talked about is “loaded,” “contentious,” or even “controversial.” Let’s face it, if it wasn’t a juicy, salacious, controversial topic, we probably wouldn’t be talking about it. So, declaring that we all agree that it is in fact a loaded topic is a no-brainer, as they say.
But here’s why this simple technique is so useful. Psychologically, when you say to your group, “I think we can all agree,” and then follow it up with a general statement about something that literally everyone agrees on, you re-enforce the group’s sense of togetherness or “oneness.” In other words, while we may have lots of differing opinions about all sorts of hot-button issues, we’re also of one mind when it comes to acknowledging how openly discussing those issues could threaten group cohesion and equanimity. Usually, the desire to be perceived as a respectful part of the group is stronger than the temptation to brazenly air your heartfelt opinions.
Still, many of us in the leadership chair are conflict averse, and when the conversation heats up, we prefer to say nothing while allowing folks to wax poetic about the latest battle in the culture wars, hoping that no one says something particularly offensive or disrespectful.
But hope is not a strategy, and when it comes controversial topics in the workplace, the Respectful Leader knows full well how damaging passionately expressed views on the news can be. They’ll nip them in the bud with a simple, “I think we can all agree that this is a controversial topic, now how ‘bout them (insert professional sports team name here)?” The trick is to state something everyone agrees on, and then move to a less controversial topic. Nine times out of ten, this is all that’s needed to keep your team on safe, stable conversational ground.
