It Costs You Nothing
When I was growing up in the suburbs of New York City, even though the world’s financial center has a reputation for rudeness, my parents frequently reminded me that I should be polite and respectful to everyone, no matter who they were. “It doesn’t cost you anything to be polite,” my mom used to say. Recently, I learned that there’s a Spanish phrase that’s related to this idea: “Lo cortes no...
“Are They Talking About Me?”
Recently, clients in the global financial services sector have asked for our guidance on a challenging workplace issue that I’ll call “the assumption of negative intent.” Shortly after the Israeli-Hamas conflict exploded in October, Jewish employees in these large companies based on the US’s East Coast began complaining to HR about other employees speaking in Arabic to each other at work...
An Even More Challenging Year Is Coming
Before delving into a more somber subject, I would like to extend my heartfelt wishes for a Happy New Year to everyone. Throughout the past few years, we repeatedly highlighted the unsettling surge in what we call “public disrespect,” incivility, and discord within American society, reaching levels not seen since the tumultuous era of the Vietnam War. However, unlike 56 years ago, the...
It Was So Disrespectful, But I Didn’t Say Anything!
This is the 2nd in my series of holiday time advice on keeping things cool during stressful public situations. I was at a holiday social function last week (as many of us will be this month) when a colleague pulled me aside to ask my advice about a recent incident. During a big family gathering, a drunk person loudly said some disrespectful things (unpublishable here) about their father, the...
Owning Our S**t, er… Mistakes
Recently, I screwed up. I had emailed a new coaching client several times to set up our sessions but received no response. I then connected with their assistant who gave me their available dates, which I confirmed by sending the client emailed calendar invites. When they didn’t show for the first scheduled meeting, I assumed I was being ignored and sent the client an email expressing that I...
Hold That Thought: Our annual reminder to DON’T GO THERE on Thanksgiving
It’s that time of year again! We’re all about to sit down to a fulsome, fattening feast with our families, friends, and colleagues (really?) only to collapse afterwards in a wine and tryptophan infused stupor. But as sure as Black Friday sales start at midnight, it’s certain that someone at the table is going to feel the need to loudly express their heartfelt opinions about current events...
HR Blaming the Victims?
Recently, while speaking at a large human resources conference, I sat down for breakfast with an HR executive who, after hearing about the work I do in respect, immediately ranted “I’m sick and tired of employees being so sensitive.” Wow. Now, to be fair, I’ve heard this complaint many times before, especially from baby boomers who had to put up with a lot of disrespect and struggle for...Summoning the HR Police
Recently, after I delivered a keynote on Restoring Respect, the head of HR at a large LA-based corporation approached me with a perspective I hadn’t considered. “We all know that many employees call human resources professionals in their company ‘the HR police.’ But what they don’t realize is that some managers really force us to play that tough cop role. They’re too afraid, or too conflict...
How to Successfully Manage Conflict Across Cultures
Conflict on global teams can show up in ways you may not expect. Here are the skills to navigate these moments. Ted and his team had reached a crisis point. Ted is a senior leader with a global company. His team had been collaborating cross-functionally on a project with another team, but the project had come to a standstill. The relationship between both teams had broken down, to the point of...