For the most part, while entering or exiting a public location such as an office building, coffee shop, or retailer, you’ll keep the door open for someone you don’t know. You’ll also say “excuse me” when you run into someone in public, if you’re like the vast majority of people. When someone sneezes, you’ll greet them with a “bless you.”
Every one of these instances exemplifies what I refer to as “Regular Respect.” It’s referred to as “common courtesy” or just plain “being nice” by others. And the majority of us do these things instinctively, without giving them a second consideration. Here’s the thing: showing respect on a regular basis is relatively simple, until when it isn’t. This is due to the fact that when we feel insulted, we virtually invariably stop showing regular respect.
It’s all down to brain science. See, when someone treats us poorly – whether by calling us a derogatory name, cutting in front of us at a store checkout, or purposely slamming a door in our face — our brain stem interprets their actions as a danger to our well-being and responds accordingly. Within a quarter of a second, the brain sends a signal to the rest of the body indicating whether to fight, flee, or freeze. A powerful hormone, such as Epinephrine (also known as Adrenaline), is then secreted into our bodies by the adrenal gland, which causes us to experience an emotional response.
As a result, we are physically and emotionally “reacting” to the disrespect we are experiencing in the blink of an eye, and treating others with regular respect becomes a low, low priority at this point.
This is why you’ll see complete strangers yelling at one other in the middle of a crowded store, or why drivers become engulfed in their own “road rage” on the highway. And, given the abundance of handy means of capturing and disseminating disrespectful behavior, it’s no surprise that many of us believe the entire world has become less courteous than it once was.
So, here’s what you can do about it: practice regular respect intentionally, as much as you are able, on a daily basis. Make a conscious effort to be courteous to people, rather than simply doing so without thinking. And remember to express gratitude to people when they show you courtesy. You’ll be shocked at how a little intentional, regular respect can spread like wildfire and make everyone’s day a bit better in the process.
