Recently, clients in the global financial services sector have asked for our guidance on a challenging workplace issue that I’ll call “the assumption of negative intent.”
Shortly after the Israeli-Hamas conflict exploded in October, Jewish employees in these large companies based on the US’s East Coast began complaining to HR about other employees speaking in Arabic to each other at work instead of English. The Jewish employees had become anxious, assuming their Arabic speaking colleagues were making disrespectful and derogatory remarks about them.
This type of complaint is not as uncommon as we might think. In organizations where the unofficial language of the business is English, there’s an expectation that employees will communicate with each other in English, even though it may be a second, or even third, language for them.
But when employees converse in a language other than English, those who don’t speak or understand it may conclude that the speakers’ topic is not business related and that they don’t want their colleagues to know what they’re saying. As a result, negative intent is sometimes assumed by those who have no idea of what’s being said. And when the news is filled with reports of horrific violence and war between two peoples who don’t share a common language, it’s not hard to imagine how that might infect the workplace and cause tensions to rachet up significantly.
And yet, when they think about it logically, most employees who work in large corporations (like global financial services firms) are fully aware that they operate in very diverse organizations, interacting with others who have different nationalities, ethnicities, languages, backgrounds, cultures, education, and preferences, etc. And, in these big, complex companies there’s an expectation that employees will work productively and communicate as effectively and efficiently as possible.
Again, thinking logically, most employees will accept that those who have English as a second language may prefer to conduct work-related conversations in their native tongue simply because it’s easier and less likely to result in misunderstandings or mistakes. But when outside world tensions spill into the workplace, this logic tends to go out the window and “fear of the other” creeps in to replace it. So, given the tensions in the middle east and in the minds of many around the world, it’s understandable that those Jewish employees may be anxious.
It’s also understandable that others might perceive these employees as being too sensitive and suspicious, and that they are assuming negative intent unfairly, without proof. Others might feel offended that they’re being accused of engaging in non-work or derogatory discussions because they’re speaking in their native language.
But the fact remains that our employees feel what they feel whether it’s logical or not. And, if it’s our job to respond to their concerns, then we should do so compassionately while guarding against those concerns escalating.
So, here’s how I advised our clients who were receiving these complaints from anxious employees: put on your coaching hat and start asking questions.
- First, to ensure they feel “heard,” I’d use the reflective or “active” listening technique. I’ll confirm what they’ve expressed without agreeing or disagreeing with their interpretation of others’ behaviors/motivations. In this case, I would start with ”What I think I’m hearing you say is that you become anxious when you overhear your colleagues – who also speak English – conversing in Arabic to each other at work. Do I have that right?”
- Secondly, I would ask them what they would prefer that their Arabic-speaking colleagues do. Assuming they’ll say “I want them to always speak English,” my response would be, “That’s an understandable expectation. And I’m sure you have that same expectation of others who are not native English speakers as well, not just Arabic speaking employees. Have I got that right?” (They usually haven’t thought about this, but they’ll see the logic AND say “Yes,” out of not wanting to be perceived as intolerant only of Arabic speakers.)
- Third, I’ll ask them how well they know the people they’re concerned about. With luck, they’ll say that they know at least one or two of them fairly well and/or have worked with them for more than a few months. I’ll follow this with “Have you ever heard them speak in Arabic with their colleagues before the October 7th attack?”
If they say “Yes,” I’ll ask “Could you consider this possibility? Is it possible that they’re speaking in Arabic because that’s their native tongue and it’s easier for them to communicate about the business of the organization that way?” Typically, they’ll say “Yes, it’s possible.”
I’d follow this with, “Great. That’s a possibility I’d like you to keep in mind going forward for the next few weeks or so. If you still have concerns after that, please come back to me and we’ll do our best to address them.”
However, if they say, “They’ve never done it before,” or “They’re doing it a lot more since October” – I’ll ask them not to try not assume negative intention on the part of the Arabic speakers, to give them the benefit of the doubt that they’re talking about work and, “Do your best to carry on with your own work.”
But, if the above doesn’t seem to assuage their concerns, then I’d do some coaching around the respect they have for their colleagues. For example…
- “What’s your working relationship like with them?” (Hopefully they’ll say “Fine, no problems.”)
- “What do you respect in them?” (It could be their knowledge and experience, or their talents and skills, and/or the way they treat others.)
- Once they’ve talked about what they respect about their colleagues, I’ll say, “I’m wondering then if – out of respect for them – you could cut them a little slack and assume they’re simply talking about work when they’re speaking in Arabic? ” Hopefully, they’ll say “Yes.”
If they still have concerns, there are some other options to consider, bearing in mind that each has a significant risk of escalating rather than resolving the problem.
- Have a private word with the Arabic speakers about speaking English at work. Start by giving them the benefit of the doubt, (“I’m sure you’re talking about work-related issues.”) The problem with this option is that they could understandably resent the request, especially if there’s no policy or accountability about speaking English at work. They may also ask “Who’s complaining?” And of course, you can’t provide a specific answer as that may generate even more tension between them.
- Bring the two parties together privately and facilitate a discussion about the concerns. Clearly, this will be a very challenging discussion and must be done very deliberately and carefully with plenty of advance preparation and buy-in from key stakeholders. Our Coaching for Respect™ Process may be helpful here.
- Remind all employees through normal channels to use English whenever conducting business to ensure efficiency and avoid miscommunication. But special care must be taken in how this is done, such a memo could cause people to say, “Why are they reminding us of this now?” It could backfire and generate more upset.
And of course, there are likely to be other options to consider that I haven’t mentioned. Please share.
The reality is that when under stress, or in times of heightened suspicions, people will often assume negative intent in others’ behaviors. If you’re responding to their complaints, then coaching them through and out of an emotional state and into more logical, rational thinking is a good first option to consider.
